Skillful Way of Thinking
Lama Zopa Rinpoche

When somebody talks about your mistakes it hurts the selfish mind. So your following to the selfish mind, being friend with the selfish mind, okay, then what the person criticizes, what the person does is he beats, if one does not follow the selfish mind, he beats, what the person does is no difference between the person praising, putting perfumes there, and the hitting. Now what this person does to you, beating, finding fault, blaming, it hurts the selfish mind. So if you don't follow the selfish mind it doesn't hurt. It doesn't become bad, it doesn't hurt. But because you follow the selfish mind, you become friend of the selfish mind, then what the person does, then you interpret this one as harm, as a harm. Then you label it "bad." After you label it bad, then, what this person does is bad, then appears to you bad. Then one label that person enemy. After one labels that person as enemy, then enemy appears to you. Before you label this one friend there is no appearance of friend. Before you label the enemy there is no appearance of enemy. The appearance of friend and enemy came from labeling, your label, so label came from the mind. So the appearance of this is friend, this is enemy, what he does is good, what she does is bad, so it completely comes from one's own mind.
For example, mother, your mother, while are you angry to your mother, you stop thinking what she does is bad, what she does to me is bad, if you stop thinking that and think her kindness, how she is kind to me. She gave me this body, this precious human body, that I have great opportunity to practice Dharma, to accumulate merit, to purify my past negative karmas, she is so kind. When you think in so many ways of her kindness, then you think she's good. When you think of her kindness, the mind thinks, She is good, she's kind to me, she's good. Then even there's appearance of kindness, your mother appears warm, beauty, kind, good. But with the previous reason, the previous way you think, the reasons, interpreting what she does is bad. With previous way of thinking she appears to you ugly, undesirable, the enemy. With this next, second way of thinking she appears to you kind, in beauty. So it's completely dependent on way your mind think of, how you think of her, which way you interpret her actions.
For example, while she is beating, scolding to you, she is angry to you, that time, if I don't practice patience with this person who has anger then with whom will I have the opportunity to practice patience? With whom I am going to practice patience? Nobody, nobody. In these numberless sentient beings there is nobody with whom I have the opportunity to practice patience if I don't practice patience, Dharma, Buddha's teachings, patience with this person who has anger. So therefore she is extremely kind to me. She's being angry, she doesn't love me, she doesn't like me, she doesn't love me, she ______, angry to me, for me is so kind, for me unbelievably kind so that I can practice patience, I can develop my mind, I can achieve enlightenment, to enlighten all sentient beings. So you see this way you see the person who has anger to you, unbelievably kind. Every day you want to offer lunch. Every day, night, all the time, you want to offer meal, money, presents, every day. The whole world filled with jewels you offer, not enough, the kindness of the person who has anger, who gave you the opportunity to practice patience and who gave you peace of mind, gave deep peace of mind in you. Now the person is still criticizing you, angry to you. But with the previous mind this person appears enemy. With the later mind thinking, So kind to me, any angry person I can practice patience, now you see very kind, desirable object, very kind. Now, completely came from, completely came from, enemy, friend, bad and good completely came from the mind. He, she what he is doing to me is bad. Bad and good, friend, enemy, the whole thing completely came from your mind, way of thinking. Completely depends on your mind.
If there is no anger, there is no enemy wherever you go. If there is no anger, even whole family, the whole people in the country, the whole human being on this earth, every sentient being even everyone is angry, they don't love you, everyone beat you, criticize you, everyone is angry to you; but if you don't have anger within you there is no enemy, you don't have enemy, you don't find one single enemy. Even every other, even others they don't practice Dharma, if you don't have anger and even if everyone is angry to you, you don't find one single enemy. But if you have anger and even if everyone loves you, you will find enemy. So it's very clear how everything, now you can see our happiness, suffering in our lives, which we believe is problem , I am unhappy, I am happy, all these things completely came from our own mind. You can see. All depends on how you are skillful way of thinking. If you are not skillful way of thinking it is so much problem. So many becomes problem. But if we are skillful with the way of thinking as the Buddha explained, if we think the right way there is no problem, only happiness. Don't find one single enemy. One does not find one single harm. So therefore, every day it's so important, unbelievably important to practice Dharma, to develop good heart, especially by being aware of how everything come from one's own mind, dependent one's own mind, especially the shunyata, dependent arising _____ .
So everything you label, friend, enemy you label, bad and good you label, then it appears. Then you get angry, then enemy. Then you grasp to the friend. Then you create much negative karma. So in other words we make our own creation, then we get upset. We get upset with our own creation. This is completely crazy, completely childish, in this way examine this you see completely crazy, childish.
So therefore, now the conclusion is, when we have problems, when we have problems in the life there is nobody to blame on. Since everything came from one's own mind, when we have problem there is nobody to blame on except oneself. Except one's own mind, the selfish mind, the ignorance not knowing the absolute of the I. So this is very good, now day-to-day life, if you remember this, itself becomes practice of patience, itself becomes practicing, benefits, helps to practice loving kindness, compassion, bodhicitta, then to realize emptiness, if in everyday life if you practice this awareness, nothing exists from their own side except merely imputed by the thought.
So I stop here.
[Dedication prayer]
So please dedicate the merit to generate, all three time merit accumulated by oneself, by other sentient beings, to generate bodhicitta, the ultimate good heart to achieve enlightenment for the sake of sentient beings. Generate within one's mind, in the minds of all sentient beings. Those who have generated to be developed, okay.
[jang chub sem chog....]